“No other course, no other way, no day but today”. Embracing each and every day is a major theme in the film made off of Jonathan Larson’s rock opera Broadway hit, Rent in the year 2005. The movie takes place in the East Villiage of New York City. The plot unfolds through its catchy, upbeat songs. This musical has always been controversial in its themes and views because there are two homosexual couples and some drug use. But the movie is so much more then that. Many viewers are turned away by this, but they never see what the film is truly about. It is a story of great friendship, living with regret, loss and love. The film truly makes you fall in love with each of the characters.
Mark (Anthony Rapp) is a lonely film maker trying to get a big break. His ex-girlfriend, Maureen (Idina Menzel), who has a passion for the stage found happiness in the arms of an attorney named Joanne (Tracie Thoms). Roger (Adam Pascal), is a burned out rock star who we later find out has gotten AIDS from his deceased girlfriend. Romance begins between Roger and his neighbor Mimi (Rosario Dawson) when she reveals to him that she also has the disease. When Collins (Jesse L Martin) returns to the big city he finds the love of his life, a drag queen named Angel (Wilson Jermaine Heredia).
With such a colorful, diverse group of friends the movie is already off to an interesting start. While the first half of the movie is more positive, fun and funky, while the second half dramatically shifts tone. It becomes about living with mistakes from the past, great heartache and pain.
This film is so supposed to mirror life in the eighties in America. It is still relevant in the year 2009 because we still have the same problems. People still die every day of AIDS. They are forced to conform to society’s expectations. People still live in poverty, and they still are forced to life with regrets. Rent is about embracing each day and living in love. The characters have to learn to, “Forget regrets or life is yours to miss”
28 February 2009
26 February 2009
Letter
Hey this letter was written to release some anger built up inside. I know the letter assignment is done, but I felt that ! should post this.
Dear -------.
Do you remember when we slept over each others’ houses? Do you remember our numerous boy-talks? Do you remember our shared secrets? Do you remember the many lunches we ate together? Do you remember the times when you came over and swam? Do you remember when you actually included me in everything? Do you remember talking to me without me having to start the conversation? Do you remember when our conversations were heart-felt and not fake and forced? Honestly, do you remember me? We may go to the same school and walk in the same halls. Our lockers are practically right next to each other. We are in almost all the same classes.
Why? That’s all I want to know. Why? Why won’t you hang out with me anymore? Why don’t you smile at me in the halls? Why do you always have to correct me? Why do you try to find faults in my actions and answers? Why do you butt into conversations I’m in, then totally dis-clude me? Why did you throw me away? Why did you stab me in the back? Why do you ignore me when I’m right in front of you? Why do you pretend I’m invisible? Why did you turn the knife and stab me again when I was already bleeding? Why?
You might be wondering what I am talking about. See, While you’ve been having fun with all of your friends, I’ve backed away and found girl who include me in everything, who care about my feelings, who care when I’m hurt, who kindly correct me when I’m wrong. I have feelings too. You are not the only one with problems. The world does not revolve around you. And you are not always right. I’m just as smart as you, no matter what you think. I’m equal to you, even though you think of me as inferior. Thanks for turning your back on me when I needed you the most. You are a true friend.
~Mandy
Dear -------.
Do you remember when we slept over each others’ houses? Do you remember our numerous boy-talks? Do you remember our shared secrets? Do you remember the many lunches we ate together? Do you remember the times when you came over and swam? Do you remember when you actually included me in everything? Do you remember talking to me without me having to start the conversation? Do you remember when our conversations were heart-felt and not fake and forced? Honestly, do you remember me? We may go to the same school and walk in the same halls. Our lockers are practically right next to each other. We are in almost all the same classes.
Why? That’s all I want to know. Why? Why won’t you hang out with me anymore? Why don’t you smile at me in the halls? Why do you always have to correct me? Why do you try to find faults in my actions and answers? Why do you butt into conversations I’m in, then totally dis-clude me? Why did you throw me away? Why did you stab me in the back? Why do you ignore me when I’m right in front of you? Why do you pretend I’m invisible? Why did you turn the knife and stab me again when I was already bleeding? Why?
You might be wondering what I am talking about. See, While you’ve been having fun with all of your friends, I’ve backed away and found girl who include me in everything, who care about my feelings, who care when I’m hurt, who kindly correct me when I’m wrong. I have feelings too. You are not the only one with problems. The world does not revolve around you. And you are not always right. I’m just as smart as you, no matter what you think. I’m equal to you, even though you think of me as inferior. Thanks for turning your back on me when I needed you the most. You are a true friend.
~Mandy
24 February 2009
Prayer
Father,
I pray that You can forgive me of my sins, and help curve me from my sinful nature. I pray that you can help me submit myself to you whole-heartedly and resist the devil in my life. I want to thank you for your constant flow of blessings. From the spiritual gifts that you have burrowed within me to the simple joy of a booklight. I pray that you can fortify my mind and help me stand out in my studies and knowledge. Please help me strengthen my spiritual relationship with You, and help me keep my body healthy and free of infections and diease. I pray for those who are less privilged than I, please help them be thankful for what they have and help them provide for their needs. I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, wonderful are Your works my soul knows it very well.
Thank You,
Your daughter
I pray that You can forgive me of my sins, and help curve me from my sinful nature. I pray that you can help me submit myself to you whole-heartedly and resist the devil in my life. I want to thank you for your constant flow of blessings. From the spiritual gifts that you have burrowed within me to the simple joy of a booklight. I pray that you can fortify my mind and help me stand out in my studies and knowledge. Please help me strengthen my spiritual relationship with You, and help me keep my body healthy and free of infections and diease. I pray for those who are less privilged than I, please help them be thankful for what they have and help them provide for their needs. I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, wonderful are Your works my soul knows it very well.
Thank You,
Your daughter
Prayer
Dear Lord,
I am giving you my heart. I hold it, hide it, carrying it everywhere I go, not giving it to anybody except the most special and significant people in my life. The ones that I can trust with everything I have in the world and even beyond this world. These people are few and far between, but I want to gift this to you. It is my most guarded secret; it is everything, my individual emotions, my yearning soul, and my most precious life. I want you to have it all. I want you to be the keeper of my secrets, the one I can trust and not have a worry in my heart, the one I can lay all my burdens and guilt and shames on. I know that you will hold my heart close and protect it so dearly, that it will never be so crippled, demolished, or marred that it is beyond repair. I long to give this to you because you have given me more then I deserve, and more then the depth of my mind can even begin to ponder. Furthermore, because none of this was ever mine to begin with, you gave it to me, and I want to give back to you what is rightfully yours. Thank you for all you did, all you do, and all you will do.
I am giving you my heart. I hold it, hide it, carrying it everywhere I go, not giving it to anybody except the most special and significant people in my life. The ones that I can trust with everything I have in the world and even beyond this world. These people are few and far between, but I want to gift this to you. It is my most guarded secret; it is everything, my individual emotions, my yearning soul, and my most precious life. I want you to have it all. I want you to be the keeper of my secrets, the one I can trust and not have a worry in my heart, the one I can lay all my burdens and guilt and shames on. I know that you will hold my heart close and protect it so dearly, that it will never be so crippled, demolished, or marred that it is beyond repair. I long to give this to you because you have given me more then I deserve, and more then the depth of my mind can even begin to ponder. Furthermore, because none of this was ever mine to begin with, you gave it to me, and I want to give back to you what is rightfully yours. Thank you for all you did, all you do, and all you will do.
Love Always,
Your Daughter
Your Daughter
-Liv Rose
23 February 2009
ThankYou?
This is a prayer that I wrote to sound sarcastic until the last line. The long period of sarcasm represents my anger towards God for my sufferings and it wasn’t until recently that I realized they were a blessing which is shown by the last line.
Dearest God,
Thank you for every lovely blessing you’ve bestowed upon me. It is more than one would ever dare to hope for. Thank you for all the times I have been broken. Thank you for making me neither attractive nor thin. Thank you for the years of darkness, of fire, of searing pain. Thank you for those razors that pierced my tender skin. Thank you for the scarf tied tight around my neck and the stool under my feet. Thank you for the burns scattered among my remains. But most of all Lord thank you for my death and resurrection. Without all these blessings I would have no reason to cling with all my strength to you, forever I will thank you.
Love Always,
Your grateful child
Dearest God,
Thank you for every lovely blessing you’ve bestowed upon me. It is more than one would ever dare to hope for. Thank you for all the times I have been broken. Thank you for making me neither attractive nor thin. Thank you for the years of darkness, of fire, of searing pain. Thank you for those razors that pierced my tender skin. Thank you for the scarf tied tight around my neck and the stool under my feet. Thank you for the burns scattered among my remains. But most of all Lord thank you for my death and resurrection. Without all these blessings I would have no reason to cling with all my strength to you, forever I will thank you.
Love Always,
Your grateful child
Prayer
Dear God,
I don't know how to pray. Of course I've tried, but it always seems so repetitive and insincere. Sometimes I get distracted or fall asleep. I feel horrible that I cannot find five minutes to dedicate to speaking to You. I just want to thank You for guiding my path. Please let me allow You to do what You plan with my life. Use me according to Your will. Help me to be a better example of a Christian. Thank you. Amen.
I don't know how to pray. Of course I've tried, but it always seems so repetitive and insincere. Sometimes I get distracted or fall asleep. I feel horrible that I cannot find five minutes to dedicate to speaking to You. I just want to thank You for guiding my path. Please let me allow You to do what You plan with my life. Use me according to Your will. Help me to be a better example of a Christian. Thank you. Amen.
Who are you?
The following is a prayer or at least what I consider a prayer at the moment. I hope I do not offend anyone with anything that is said. I am in a state of doubt. At this time I'm not sure if God exists. Some of the things mentioned in this prayer are true but happened a long time ago.
Dear God?
Father?
Savior?
Comforter?
Protector?
Which one are you? Who are you? Are you my father? I think not. I had a loving father and YOU took him from me. I was barely five years old. How could you? My Savior? Yeah right. My comforter? Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I was in a puddle of my own blood? When I was contemplating staying underwater and never comming up again. When I tied that noose around my neck. My Protector? If anything, I need to be protected from you. You were supposed to protect me from evil and hurtful things. Instead of doing that you hurt me the most.You thrust me into a whole new world of confusion, pain and evil at an early age. When is it going to stop? Where were you that September Day? How did that help anyone? Everyone around me says that I should love and trust you. Seeing is believing and all I've seen is you hurt the ones I love and me. How can I possibly trust you? That your ways are not my ways and I am too inadequate to understand. Explain it to me. That you have a plan and a reason for doing what you've done, or let happen. I have a hard time believing that. If you love me as much as you say you do then why do you torment me so?
Dear God?
Father?
Savior?
Comforter?
Protector?
Which one are you? Who are you? Are you my father? I think not. I had a loving father and YOU took him from me. I was barely five years old. How could you? My Savior? Yeah right. My comforter? Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I was in a puddle of my own blood? When I was contemplating staying underwater and never comming up again. When I tied that noose around my neck. My Protector? If anything, I need to be protected from you. You were supposed to protect me from evil and hurtful things. Instead of doing that you hurt me the most.You thrust me into a whole new world of confusion, pain and evil at an early age. When is it going to stop? Where were you that September Day? How did that help anyone? Everyone around me says that I should love and trust you. Seeing is believing and all I've seen is you hurt the ones I love and me. How can I possibly trust you? That your ways are not my ways and I am too inadequate to understand. Explain it to me. That you have a plan and a reason for doing what you've done, or let happen. I have a hard time believing that. If you love me as much as you say you do then why do you torment me so?
~Jess~
22 February 2009
Wish List
Dear God,
Why does prayer seem so repetitive? I never seem to feel anything when I pray or worship. I see people who raise their hands and close their eyes. They really feel something. Why can’t I feel that, too? I want to feel close to You. I want You to be more real to me than before. When I pray it almost feels forced. I don’t want it to be. I want my prayers to be genuine. I want to really connect with You when I’m praying. I want to feel like I’m talking to You. I want to feel like You’re answering me. I want to hear Your voice whispering to me. I want to hear You telling me it will be all right. Telling me You love me over and over again. Most of all, I want to see You. To see You sitting next to me. I want to be wrapped in Your arms. I want You to hold me and never let go.
~Your Daughter
Sam
Why does prayer seem so repetitive? I never seem to feel anything when I pray or worship. I see people who raise their hands and close their eyes. They really feel something. Why can’t I feel that, too? I want to feel close to You. I want You to be more real to me than before. When I pray it almost feels forced. I don’t want it to be. I want my prayers to be genuine. I want to really connect with You when I’m praying. I want to feel like I’m talking to You. I want to feel like You’re answering me. I want to hear Your voice whispering to me. I want to hear You telling me it will be all right. Telling me You love me over and over again. Most of all, I want to see You. To see You sitting next to me. I want to be wrapped in Your arms. I want You to hold me and never let go.
~Your Daughter
Sam
Dear God
This was one of my prayers to God. I was really doubting who He is. Sometimes I still think this way, but for the most part all of this doubt is out of my system.
Dear God,
You know, I feel really weird writing down my prayers. I know that you already know what I am going to say. Sadly, it’s probably not what you want to hear. I have learned in Sunday school that I should not doubt you and I should put you above everything in my life. I have learned all the stories in the Bible and studied them either in school, at church, or at home during family studies. I just am going to say it. I am not sure if I really believe you exist. There. I said it. I have been raised up in a Christian home all my life. Half of my life and still today, I am know as a Pastor’s Kid. I feel like you and everything else in my life has been shoved down my throat. And currently, I can not breathe. I know that you love me, I know that you care about me, I know that you are with me, I know you will never leave me, I know you want me to go to heaven and spend eternity with you. I know… but that does not mean that I believe it. You say you are there, but I never see you. You say you care, but when I’m lonely I can’t feel you. You say you love me, but the world torments me day and night. You say that you test your children, what kind of parent does that?! You say you have been there for all eternity, but everything needs a beginning. You say you are there for everyone; no one can be at two places at once. I just don’t get you.
You know, I feel really weird writing down my prayers. I know that you already know what I am going to say. Sadly, it’s probably not what you want to hear. I have learned in Sunday school that I should not doubt you and I should put you above everything in my life. I have learned all the stories in the Bible and studied them either in school, at church, or at home during family studies. I just am going to say it. I am not sure if I really believe you exist. There. I said it. I have been raised up in a Christian home all my life. Half of my life and still today, I am know as a Pastor’s Kid. I feel like you and everything else in my life has been shoved down my throat. And currently, I can not breathe. I know that you love me, I know that you care about me, I know that you are with me, I know you will never leave me, I know you want me to go to heaven and spend eternity with you. I know… but that does not mean that I believe it. You say you are there, but I never see you. You say you care, but when I’m lonely I can’t feel you. You say you love me, but the world torments me day and night. You say that you test your children, what kind of parent does that?! You say you have been there for all eternity, but everything needs a beginning. You say you are there for everyone; no one can be at two places at once. I just don’t get you.
All my life, everyone has always thought of me as the “Perfect Pastors Daughter”. Ha! What a life. Everyone expected perfection out of me. Some Christians they are. Everyone thinks I have the perfect family. Not true. How could you make such controlling people??? I don't understand.
If you loved us so much, why would you make us suffer like this? How could you let cute little kids starve in third world countries? How could you let cancer spread through one’s body? How could you let an innocent child grow up in a broken home? How could you let fathers and brothers die in war? Why would you let a normal girl get traumatized by rape? How can you let a baby be abandoned by its parents? I can feel the love!
I see other's joy. But it seems so outer and fake with most "Christians". They praise you for the good and bad. How could you like bad things? It just doesn't seem human. I just don't get it.
~Michelle
Prayer
Heavenly Father,
This hurts. It hurts so much. But I know You're in control. I know You're working and that everything will work out for the best. But do You really have to break me SO much? Lord, can this really be how You want to use me: broken into a thousand pieces, and strewn across the floor? Is that really how I'm to serve You? God, I'm falling apart! Can You really catch all these fractured pieces, and use them? Can this wretched pile of pain and suffering truly serve Your purpose?
Father, Your ways are so much higher than mine. I concede that I may never fully understand Your plan. Lord, I see now that it's not my place to understand, but please just give me the strength I need to follow You, and bring glory to Your name. In the name of Your precious Son,
Amen.
This hurts. It hurts so much. But I know You're in control. I know You're working and that everything will work out for the best. But do You really have to break me SO much? Lord, can this really be how You want to use me: broken into a thousand pieces, and strewn across the floor? Is that really how I'm to serve You? God, I'm falling apart! Can You really catch all these fractured pieces, and use them? Can this wretched pile of pain and suffering truly serve Your purpose?
Father, Your ways are so much higher than mine. I concede that I may never fully understand Your plan. Lord, I see now that it's not my place to understand, but please just give me the strength I need to follow You, and bring glory to Your name. In the name of Your precious Son,
Amen.
A Prayer For Him
Daddy,
There is this deep ambition inside of me to be a bride; I believe that you placed that ambition within me. Is there a boy out there to whom I will one day say, ‘I do.’? If there is, please Lord, keep him safe. Will you give him the strength to flee from temptation? I ask that you would cause his love for you to increase every day as he sees the wonder of your love more clearly. Mold him into a man who will lead me on the narrow path. Please plant in him seeds of faith that will define his life. Lord, shape him into a father, as you have been a blameless father to me. And lastly, I ask that you would give us both a desire and zeal for purity.
<3 Child of the Most High
There is this deep ambition inside of me to be a bride; I believe that you placed that ambition within me. Is there a boy out there to whom I will one day say, ‘I do.’? If there is, please Lord, keep him safe. Will you give him the strength to flee from temptation? I ask that you would cause his love for you to increase every day as he sees the wonder of your love more clearly. Mold him into a man who will lead me on the narrow path. Please plant in him seeds of faith that will define his life. Lord, shape him into a father, as you have been a blameless father to me. And lastly, I ask that you would give us both a desire and zeal for purity.
<3 Child of the Most High
prayer
Hey Father,
Lord I thank you for always hearing me. I thank you that no matter how many times I blow you off to do other things that you are always waiting with your arms wide open. I am so sorry for the way I have been rejecting you. I use excuses that sound pitiful even in my own ears. “I am just so busy” or “I am too tired”. Please forgive my apathy. God I am sick and tired of trying to seek after you when “I have enough time” but when my life gets busy, putting you in second place. I could try to justify this in my own head by saying that I still do devotions every night and sometimes twice a day even! But it is not about how much I do, it is about the attitude in which I complete it. You say in your Word that you despise “lukewarm Christians”; please show me how to be a burning hot Christian for You. Help me to really be the Christian that everyone thinks I am. Please show me what it means to live my life a sacrifice, daily giving you my all. Please help me learn to love You and find my sole source of contentment and joy in You,
Jesus, I am rubbed raw from trying to seek after you on my own. Please give me the strength and desire. You promise in James 4:8 that you will dram close to those who draw close to You. Thank you that all your promises are always true and that you will never lose interest in me, like I lose interest in you.
Please help me to learn to rid my life of the distractions that take my focus away from you. Thank you so much for loving me in spite of all this.
Amen.
Lord I thank you for always hearing me. I thank you that no matter how many times I blow you off to do other things that you are always waiting with your arms wide open. I am so sorry for the way I have been rejecting you. I use excuses that sound pitiful even in my own ears. “I am just so busy” or “I am too tired”. Please forgive my apathy. God I am sick and tired of trying to seek after you when “I have enough time” but when my life gets busy, putting you in second place. I could try to justify this in my own head by saying that I still do devotions every night and sometimes twice a day even! But it is not about how much I do, it is about the attitude in which I complete it. You say in your Word that you despise “lukewarm Christians”; please show me how to be a burning hot Christian for You. Help me to really be the Christian that everyone thinks I am. Please show me what it means to live my life a sacrifice, daily giving you my all. Please help me learn to love You and find my sole source of contentment and joy in You,
Jesus, I am rubbed raw from trying to seek after you on my own. Please give me the strength and desire. You promise in James 4:8 that you will dram close to those who draw close to You. Thank you that all your promises are always true and that you will never lose interest in me, like I lose interest in you.
Please help me to learn to rid my life of the distractions that take my focus away from you. Thank you so much for loving me in spite of all this.
Amen.
20 February 2009
We Fall, We Rise
The Darkness of our lives doesn't hold back but begin
All the evils of live don't disperse but seep in
Though we regard ourselves as Children of Light
We fall and tremble, and murder and fight
----------------------------------------------------
Words cannot being to express my sorrow, my shame
I ask you for help God, because you've known every pain
I crumble and fall to the dust of the floor
From my sins I cannot hide, because I keep doing more
My crimes out number all crimes that have been written
And I'm hoping Dear God, that I will not be the one to be smitten
Because I am the failure, of a life that should be better
I live less, and fade more, of sin I am the begetter
What would you do with me God if I thought curses in my head?
What would you do if I no longer prayed in my bed?
Would you disown me, if I turned my back on you?
Would you beat me and break me through and through?
Right now I'm torn, on the edge, and frayed
Burned and scathed, tortured, betrayed
My power crumbles in their hands, my fight for righteousness fails
No longer does my spirit or heart do as you did, it no longer prevails
My hope is no longer what makes you my flame
My fire is my sin, and I am to blame
I wish it could change, I wish I had fought
But now my future is dim, it begins to rot
From you my heart has fled, it has retreated
I am the dark side of the moon, I am defeated
From you I never give, I just whine and I take
How God can this go on? Finally, I break
My soul is calloused and horribly burised
I feel fear and hatred, for those who are abused
How Lord can you let them trample us and win?
Or are the worlds problems, my own failure, my personal sin?
I pray you help me to find my way, so that this life I can endure
Lord you might be my only shot, my only redeemable cure
Can you help me change all of my dreadfully evil ways?
Can you help me stand and laugh and give you my praise?
All the evils of live don't disperse but seep in
Though we regard ourselves as Children of Light
We fall and tremble, and murder and fight
----------------------------------------------------
Words cannot being to express my sorrow, my shame
I ask you for help God, because you've known every pain
I crumble and fall to the dust of the floor
From my sins I cannot hide, because I keep doing more
My crimes out number all crimes that have been written
And I'm hoping Dear God, that I will not be the one to be smitten
Because I am the failure, of a life that should be better
I live less, and fade more, of sin I am the begetter
What would you do with me God if I thought curses in my head?
What would you do if I no longer prayed in my bed?
Would you disown me, if I turned my back on you?
Would you beat me and break me through and through?
Right now I'm torn, on the edge, and frayed
Burned and scathed, tortured, betrayed
My power crumbles in their hands, my fight for righteousness fails
No longer does my spirit or heart do as you did, it no longer prevails
My hope is no longer what makes you my flame
My fire is my sin, and I am to blame
I wish it could change, I wish I had fought
But now my future is dim, it begins to rot
From you my heart has fled, it has retreated
I am the dark side of the moon, I am defeated
From you I never give, I just whine and I take
How God can this go on? Finally, I break
My soul is calloused and horribly burised
I feel fear and hatred, for those who are abused
How Lord can you let them trample us and win?
Or are the worlds problems, my own failure, my personal sin?
I pray you help me to find my way, so that this life I can endure
Lord you might be my only shot, my only redeemable cure
Can you help me change all of my dreadfully evil ways?
Can you help me stand and laugh and give you my praise?
19 February 2009
The Romance
The music begins
I am held by loving arms
He gently kisses my head
Warmth spreads over my body
I am loved.
He picks me up and twirls me in the air
I am thrilled.
Something catches my eye
A dark, foreboding, but handsome face
It is attracting.
I slip away from the arms of the One who loved me
I step towards the open arms of the other man
But the moment I am in his arms
His gentle smile becomes cruel and hideous.
I reach out for Love
But the Dark One pulls me down.
He won’t let go.
The One I left stands alone
Tears streaming down His face
I cry out for Him
Gently, He releases me from my captor…
And takes my place.
I watch as the Dark One torments Him
He is beaten, bruised, and bloody.
I couldn’t bear to look at Him.
But He looked at me
He opened His arms wide to show me
He still loved me.
Then He died.
The music stopped
I fell to the floor weeping as my enemy crept toward me
He stood above me now.
He bent down to get me off the floor
When suddenly the ground shook
He fell to his knees as I looked around in wonder
I looked towards the One who loved me
He wasn’t there
His body wasn’t there
I turned and saw the Dark One on his knees
He was hiding his face from Him
The One who I saw die
The One who I thought was dead
The One who had taken my place
The One who forgave me
The One who loved me
Was alive!
Silently He glared at the enemy
Who, like the coward he was, crept away in defeat
Then He looked at me
He held out His hand and smiled.
I looked at the offered hand
There was something there that wasn’t there before
Proof of His love
I took the hand and He lifted me from the floor
I looked away from Him
Tears of shame flowed down my face
Sobs shook my body
He held me close and wiped away the tears
He held out His hand again
I look at the scar in His wrist
I am speechless
The music begins again
I am held by loving arms
He gently kisses my head
Warmth spreads over my body
I am loved.
I am held by loving arms
He gently kisses my head
Warmth spreads over my body
I am loved.
He picks me up and twirls me in the air
I am thrilled.
Something catches my eye
A dark, foreboding, but handsome face
It is attracting.
I slip away from the arms of the One who loved me
I step towards the open arms of the other man
But the moment I am in his arms
His gentle smile becomes cruel and hideous.
I reach out for Love
But the Dark One pulls me down.
He won’t let go.
The One I left stands alone
Tears streaming down His face
I cry out for Him
Gently, He releases me from my captor…
And takes my place.
I watch as the Dark One torments Him
He is beaten, bruised, and bloody.
I couldn’t bear to look at Him.
But He looked at me
He opened His arms wide to show me
He still loved me.
Then He died.
The music stopped
I fell to the floor weeping as my enemy crept toward me
He stood above me now.
He bent down to get me off the floor
When suddenly the ground shook
He fell to his knees as I looked around in wonder
I looked towards the One who loved me
He wasn’t there
His body wasn’t there
I turned and saw the Dark One on his knees
He was hiding his face from Him
The One who I saw die
The One who I thought was dead
The One who had taken my place
The One who forgave me
The One who loved me
Was alive!
Silently He glared at the enemy
Who, like the coward he was, crept away in defeat
Then He looked at me
He held out His hand and smiled.
I looked at the offered hand
There was something there that wasn’t there before
Proof of His love
I took the hand and He lifted me from the floor
I looked away from Him
Tears of shame flowed down my face
Sobs shook my body
He held me close and wiped away the tears
He held out His hand again
I look at the scar in His wrist
I am speechless
The music begins again
I am held by loving arms
He gently kisses my head
Warmth spreads over my body
I am loved.
18 February 2009
Letters
Stop texting me. Stop calling me. Stop saying hi to me every time you see me. You will never understand how I feel. Why did you do that to me? Why did you use me? It's even worse that you told me that you know you were gonna do this. You knew and you still did all that stuff that night. Why did you lie to me? Why did you tell me you loved me? "Because if I heard myself say it, I thought maybe I would start to feel it." Do you remember saying that? No, no I bet you don't remember. Because you're the good guy. Because I am completely at fault here. Because I was too attached. Because I didn't do anything well enough to meet your standards. I bet you remember that. I bet you remember that because that's what you told everybody. That's what everybody believes. All because I wouldn't comment on the whole situation. All because I was too busy letting you stomp my heart into 16 million pieces. You said it was for the best.
Love is not a game anymore.
You don't deserve anything from me.
There is nothing else for me to give you.
You took it all.
You took everything.
Dear Sammers,
You are my best friend. I have never said that to you. I guess it's kinda just understood. We have the strongest relationship I've ever had with someone. Even though we see each other like once every 3 months, talking every day with you has brought us closer than I ever thought it would. Do you remember the day we met? You stepped on me. And like a week later? You dropped me. YOU DROPPED ME! I don't think we will ever get over that. That was hilarious. When I look back and think about all the summers I couldn't have survived without you, all I have to say to you is thanks. You got me through how many auditions, dress rehersals, shows and after parties. I would have done it, because I had to. But you made me do it all because I knew that every day when I got to the theatre, you would be there. That audition. The one where I was so prepared, and when I got called back I lost faith entirely. You sat with me on the sidewalk, you held my hand and let me cry. You knew why that had happened, I didn't even have to tell you. I would have quit. I would have went right back in to Denise and said that I was done, got my papers and left. But you wouldn't let me. Thank you, babe. Everything would have ended there. You pushed me. Keep pushing me. I love you.
Dear World,
Thanks. Thanks for throwing me right in. Thanks for showing me at such a young age just how cruel you can be. Thanks for taking everbody I love. They weren't yours, you know; you have some kind of nerve, taking all I want. Thanks for showing me the concept of success. Thanks for shoving it right back in my face that everything you showed me is everything I can never be. Thanks for screaming at me from every magazine rack, telling me that I'm not good enough. Thanks for telling me that there are so many people who have it worse than I do. Thanks forconstantly reminding me not to pity myself, because there are people out there who are starving in Africa, and people with terminal illnesses who may not wake up tomorrow morning to watch the sunrise. Thanks for putting me in the mom position. Thanks for putting your faith in me and trusting me with a job that crucial to the lives of others. But most of all, thanks for not tossing them into this unforgiving current. Thank you for putting me through all this so that they don't have to experience anything I had to.
Love is not a game anymore.
You don't deserve anything from me.
There is nothing else for me to give you.
You took it all.
You took everything.
Dear Sammers,
You are my best friend. I have never said that to you. I guess it's kinda just understood. We have the strongest relationship I've ever had with someone. Even though we see each other like once every 3 months, talking every day with you has brought us closer than I ever thought it would. Do you remember the day we met? You stepped on me. And like a week later? You dropped me. YOU DROPPED ME! I don't think we will ever get over that. That was hilarious. When I look back and think about all the summers I couldn't have survived without you, all I have to say to you is thanks. You got me through how many auditions, dress rehersals, shows and after parties. I would have done it, because I had to. But you made me do it all because I knew that every day when I got to the theatre, you would be there. That audition. The one where I was so prepared, and when I got called back I lost faith entirely. You sat with me on the sidewalk, you held my hand and let me cry. You knew why that had happened, I didn't even have to tell you. I would have quit. I would have went right back in to Denise and said that I was done, got my papers and left. But you wouldn't let me. Thank you, babe. Everything would have ended there. You pushed me. Keep pushing me. I love you.
Dear World,
Thanks. Thanks for throwing me right in. Thanks for showing me at such a young age just how cruel you can be. Thanks for taking everbody I love. They weren't yours, you know; you have some kind of nerve, taking all I want. Thanks for showing me the concept of success. Thanks for shoving it right back in my face that everything you showed me is everything I can never be. Thanks for screaming at me from every magazine rack, telling me that I'm not good enough. Thanks for telling me that there are so many people who have it worse than I do. Thanks forconstantly reminding me not to pity myself, because there are people out there who are starving in Africa, and people with terminal illnesses who may not wake up tomorrow morning to watch the sunrise. Thanks for putting me in the mom position. Thanks for putting your faith in me and trusting me with a job that crucial to the lives of others. But most of all, thanks for not tossing them into this unforgiving current. Thank you for putting me through all this so that they don't have to experience anything I had to.
My Child
Dear Child,
It’s me, your Father. I wanted to talk to you today. Nothing in particular. Just talk. I waited for you but you weren’t as eager to talk to Me. I was watching you today. I watched all the different things you went through. I saw things that would make any father proud. But I also saw some things I was not so proud of. I saw the pain you were going through today. When people hurt you, when things went wrong, when you were alone. You have no idea how much I hurt for you. I want to take you in My arms and whisper to you how much I loved you. But you wouldn’t listen to Me. Why are you ignoring Me? Don’t you know how much I care for you? Please, talk to Me soon. I’ll always be here.
Love,
Jesus
Dear Jesus,
I guess I don’t know where to start. I’m sorry I’ve ignored You for so long. It’s just that… so many things went wrong. I thought You were mad at me. I wasn’t sure if You loved me anymore. Sure, somewhere inside I knew You did. I guess I just blamed You for everything else going on. But…I started feeling… empty. Alone. I needed something that I didn’t have. I needed You. I needed to be with You again. Nothing else could make me feel whole. I realized that, if it hadn’t been for my problems, I wouldn’t have felt a need for You. Jesus, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.
~Your daughter
My dearest daughter,
Of course I forgive you! I forgave you years ago when you were just a child, first asking Me into your life. I forgave you even longer ago, when I gave My life for you. And I will always forgive you. No matter what. I love you more than anything. I love you so much, there is nothing I would not do for you. I died for you. Remember, Child. I am always here for you.
Always,
Love
It’s me, your Father. I wanted to talk to you today. Nothing in particular. Just talk. I waited for you but you weren’t as eager to talk to Me. I was watching you today. I watched all the different things you went through. I saw things that would make any father proud. But I also saw some things I was not so proud of. I saw the pain you were going through today. When people hurt you, when things went wrong, when you were alone. You have no idea how much I hurt for you. I want to take you in My arms and whisper to you how much I loved you. But you wouldn’t listen to Me. Why are you ignoring Me? Don’t you know how much I care for you? Please, talk to Me soon. I’ll always be here.
Love,
Jesus
Dear Jesus,
I guess I don’t know where to start. I’m sorry I’ve ignored You for so long. It’s just that… so many things went wrong. I thought You were mad at me. I wasn’t sure if You loved me anymore. Sure, somewhere inside I knew You did. I guess I just blamed You for everything else going on. But…I started feeling… empty. Alone. I needed something that I didn’t have. I needed You. I needed to be with You again. Nothing else could make me feel whole. I realized that, if it hadn’t been for my problems, I wouldn’t have felt a need for You. Jesus, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.
~Your daughter
My dearest daughter,
Of course I forgive you! I forgave you years ago when you were just a child, first asking Me into your life. I forgave you even longer ago, when I gave My life for you. And I will always forgive you. No matter what. I love you more than anything. I love you so much, there is nothing I would not do for you. I died for you. Remember, Child. I am always here for you.
Always,
Love
letters to friends and family
Dear self,
I just wanted to write a letter to you telling you that you have changed into someone very different. But a good different when you were home schooled you were scared of doing things alone. But now you are doing well. Ever since you were in school you do a lot better. Your not one of thoughs people that are scared to talk to other people or get to know then. And I wanted to tell you that I’m proud of you for your spirit. How you have been acting. You’re not like the people that were at your other school snobbish and rude. And that is very good. You better not change what you have become. Be very happy son. But this me talking to me. Be whatever you want to be do not let other people tell you to change.
Sincerity, yourself
Dear x-friend,
I just wanted to tell you that you are a real jerk. And that you are an idiot for not working it out I mean what’s wrong with you? Man I thought you were smart enough to just let it go and not cry about it. I know it was wrong of me to think that about us but what you did was wrong to. I also wanted to tell you that its been a year since we haven’t been friends and that I’m doing just fine without you. I have so many different friends its not even funny. I feel free then what I was before. You made me not want to hang with other people. But you were aloud to hang with other friends. I was so mad at that. I mean I wish we were still friends but at the same time I don’t. I think about the good times we had for fourteen years. But now that year gone for a year I have had the best time with other friends. We have good times and bad but we still get ALONG. I just wish you could read this letter. But I’m to scared to come by your house and give it to you. Well this is an other letter getting thrown away.
Sincerely, your true x-friend
Dear grandpa,
I just wanted to tell you that you were the best. I wanted to tell you that for the past 4 to 5 years from now. I think you already new that but I don’t know. Before you died I saw you for the last time and I never gave you a hug or I didn’t say goodbye I thought you would get better in time I thought you would never die because you were the greatest and nothing would hurt you. Well I was wrong. The doctors didn’t know what you had they didn’t know what to give you for medicine. I thought you would tough it out but I was also wrong about that. When you died I was happy that you didn’t supher any more but I was not happy that you left me and your other grandkids. I was only 12 when you died I was almost out of awana and I wanted you to see me get my award and see me get my drivers lessens. But you were 78 years old and you would say nothing can hurt you but that thing that you had killed you. For a year I blamed God and myself because I thought I did that to you and God took you away from me. In time I finally new that it was time for you to go. Not my time to let you but Gods time. I also want to tell you thank you for letting me play checkers with you and never letting me win ha and also for helping me work on my crafts. You are sill in my heart I love you grandpa and I do miss you still to this day and every time I play checkers.
your granddaughter
I just wanted to write a letter to you telling you that you have changed into someone very different. But a good different when you were home schooled you were scared of doing things alone. But now you are doing well. Ever since you were in school you do a lot better. Your not one of thoughs people that are scared to talk to other people or get to know then. And I wanted to tell you that I’m proud of you for your spirit. How you have been acting. You’re not like the people that were at your other school snobbish and rude. And that is very good. You better not change what you have become. Be very happy son. But this me talking to me. Be whatever you want to be do not let other people tell you to change.
Sincerity, yourself
Dear x-friend,
I just wanted to tell you that you are a real jerk. And that you are an idiot for not working it out I mean what’s wrong with you? Man I thought you were smart enough to just let it go and not cry about it. I know it was wrong of me to think that about us but what you did was wrong to. I also wanted to tell you that its been a year since we haven’t been friends and that I’m doing just fine without you. I have so many different friends its not even funny. I feel free then what I was before. You made me not want to hang with other people. But you were aloud to hang with other friends. I was so mad at that. I mean I wish we were still friends but at the same time I don’t. I think about the good times we had for fourteen years. But now that year gone for a year I have had the best time with other friends. We have good times and bad but we still get ALONG. I just wish you could read this letter. But I’m to scared to come by your house and give it to you. Well this is an other letter getting thrown away.
Sincerely, your true x-friend
Dear grandpa,
I just wanted to tell you that you were the best. I wanted to tell you that for the past 4 to 5 years from now. I think you already new that but I don’t know. Before you died I saw you for the last time and I never gave you a hug or I didn’t say goodbye I thought you would get better in time I thought you would never die because you were the greatest and nothing would hurt you. Well I was wrong. The doctors didn’t know what you had they didn’t know what to give you for medicine. I thought you would tough it out but I was also wrong about that. When you died I was happy that you didn’t supher any more but I was not happy that you left me and your other grandkids. I was only 12 when you died I was almost out of awana and I wanted you to see me get my award and see me get my drivers lessens. But you were 78 years old and you would say nothing can hurt you but that thing that you had killed you. For a year I blamed God and myself because I thought I did that to you and God took you away from me. In time I finally new that it was time for you to go. Not my time to let you but Gods time. I also want to tell you thank you for letting me play checkers with you and never letting me win ha and also for helping me work on my crafts. You are sill in my heart I love you grandpa and I do miss you still to this day and every time I play checkers.
your granddaughter
17 February 2009
Letters
Dear Roxanne,
As a continuation of our previous conversation, I finally have made my decision! I think I am going to go through with it! I mean, so many good and positive things can come from this one decision. I just need a change of setting. I want to get out of here! This place is choking me and confining me to this small area when all I want to do is break free and go against the grain! I don’t think that’s wrong! I want to start over and just have a fresh slate. I feel like I am being held back. I want to be free; I do not want to be tied down. I want to have the option of getting up in the morning and doing exactly what I want to do exactly when I want to do it. I realize that may sound selfish, but I think that is what I need right now at this point in my life. My work is becoming dry, brittle and lifeless! It all just feels meaningless. It is all because of this boring droll place! It gives me such a lack of motivation and inspiration! II want to travel and see the world and let my mind roam free to spill out the ideas into my head onto paper to touch people’s lives. Please write back to with your thoughts, I mean if you think I am just crazy. I need some advice!
As a continuation of our previous conversation, I finally have made my decision! I think I am going to go through with it! I mean, so many good and positive things can come from this one decision. I just need a change of setting. I want to get out of here! This place is choking me and confining me to this small area when all I want to do is break free and go against the grain! I don’t think that’s wrong! I want to start over and just have a fresh slate. I feel like I am being held back. I want to be free; I do not want to be tied down. I want to have the option of getting up in the morning and doing exactly what I want to do exactly when I want to do it. I realize that may sound selfish, but I think that is what I need right now at this point in my life. My work is becoming dry, brittle and lifeless! It all just feels meaningless. It is all because of this boring droll place! It gives me such a lack of motivation and inspiration! II want to travel and see the world and let my mind roam free to spill out the ideas into my head onto paper to touch people’s lives. Please write back to with your thoughts, I mean if you think I am just crazy. I need some advice!
Sincerely,
Lucy
Lucy
Dear Alexandria,
My heart is soaring on cloud nine as I write this letter to you. I am in love, complete utter love. The kind of love that consumes your heart and soul. The kind of love that gives you such a surreal feeing, that makes you feel like you are flying high and no one can touch you. Nothing can bring me down. I have never experienced this experienced before. I am consumed with thoughts of him, and nothing but thoughts of him. I feel as though nothing else is real except this fantasy my mind seems to be creating about our future. It feels as though nothing else is real except this indescribable passionate love between us. An old 50’s film seems to be repeating in my head where we are having a picnic and we can just stare into each other eyes for hours without our thoughts wandering astray. This image just rewinding over and over again. Everywhere I go I cannot help but smile. I feel as though nothing can bring me down, and that I could not even force my face to frown if I wanted to. I feel complete like I have my other half, and that I could not live without it if I tried. I could not stop loving him even if I had to. We are completely compatible even in our incompatibilities. We are truly perfect for each other. I hope one day you can meet someone and feel this feeling because my words do not do it justice.
My heart is soaring on cloud nine as I write this letter to you. I am in love, complete utter love. The kind of love that consumes your heart and soul. The kind of love that gives you such a surreal feeing, that makes you feel like you are flying high and no one can touch you. Nothing can bring me down. I have never experienced this experienced before. I am consumed with thoughts of him, and nothing but thoughts of him. I feel as though nothing else is real except this fantasy my mind seems to be creating about our future. It feels as though nothing else is real except this indescribable passionate love between us. An old 50’s film seems to be repeating in my head where we are having a picnic and we can just stare into each other eyes for hours without our thoughts wandering astray. This image just rewinding over and over again. Everywhere I go I cannot help but smile. I feel as though nothing can bring me down, and that I could not even force my face to frown if I wanted to. I feel complete like I have my other half, and that I could not live without it if I tried. I could not stop loving him even if I had to. We are completely compatible even in our incompatibilities. We are truly perfect for each other. I hope one day you can meet someone and feel this feeling because my words do not do it justice.
Your friend,
Rose
Rose
Dear Veronica,
PRAISE THE LORD! James is in remission! His cancer has completely been wiped from his body! Now is just the task of rebuilding up his immune system with the doctor’ shave literally killed. It is like a garden with beautiful flower. Except the medicine the doctors give him to cure him are like poison to this silent peaceful garden. The poison cannot decipher from what is bad and what is good so the poison kills it all. Your prayer has been much appreciated and we thank the lord that James has survived. HE touched so many people with his faith and hope, it is like he would not let his light stop shining no matter how hard it got. I just wanted to tell you this extraordinary news. The lord works in incredible ways!
PRAISE THE LORD! James is in remission! His cancer has completely been wiped from his body! Now is just the task of rebuilding up his immune system with the doctor’ shave literally killed. It is like a garden with beautiful flower. Except the medicine the doctors give him to cure him are like poison to this silent peaceful garden. The poison cannot decipher from what is bad and what is good so the poison kills it all. Your prayer has been much appreciated and we thank the lord that James has survived. HE touched so many people with his faith and hope, it is like he would not let his light stop shining no matter how hard it got. I just wanted to tell you this extraordinary news. The lord works in incredible ways!
Sincerely,
Katie
Katie
-Liv Rose
16 February 2009
Dear Jasmine
The following letters are total works of fiction and some what morbid. The letters are between two best friends who grew apart but still care about each other. The words "with all my love, I love you" are meant in a sisterly way.
Dearest Jasmine, October 21st
I don’t know how to say this. Oh God help me. My world has been thrust into the unknown. I...was….I can’t even admit it. How can I ask you for help? Jass I need your help no questions asked. I know the past few months we have not been close, but the bond we had is still there. I need my sister. I hope its not too late that you haven’t forgotten about me. You are the only person I can absolutely trust with any possible problem I have.
With all my love, Your sister,
Skyler
Dearest Skyler, October 23rd
Hun what is going on? I hope you know I am always here for you no matter what. I don’t care that we have not spoken for a few months, true friends don’t have to. Wait even sisters don’t have to be close to still care. I will help you, just tell me how. Forget you are you crazy? I could never forget you and our crazy all night sleepovers. I am here for YOU and do not ever forget it.
All my love,
Jass
Jass, October 25th
You have no idea how much this means to me. Honestly I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. I need to meet you and soon. We need to talk about this in person. I cannot write down the problem, its easier for me to say it. Is the 2nd of November a good day for you? If it is meet me at our secret place in the woods at noon.
All my love,
Skyler.
Skyler, October 27th
November 2nd works for me. I will be there around 12:30pm. I can’t wait to see you. I am here and I am not going anywhere soon. Never forget that you are special.
All my love,
Jass
Jass, October 31st
I hope you can forgive me. I just could not bring myself to tell you or anybody what happened to me. I just did not think I could bear the shame once people found out. I knew after getting your letter if I told you, I wouldn’t be able to handle it. To admit that something horrible had happened to me. I guess it doesn’t matter now if I tell you. I guess you should know why I did this. On October 13th I was taking a walk around my neighborhood when out of nowhere I was attacked. Not only was it a physical attack but also a sexual one. In other words I was raped. I am sorry, I tried to live with it and get over the rape but nothing helped. I thought talking to you would help that, but I was wrong. If I couldn’t even accept it myself how could you. Jass I want you to know that your letters the past few days have really helped me. I loved you. I hope you know I how much you meant to me. I just could not live knowing what he did to me. There are no words to describe it. Its too much for me to handle. This is my goodbye to you. After I’m gone I pray you keep my memory alive, the happy one. If you could please keep this letter to yourself I don’t want anyone else to know besides you. Like I said before you are the only one I absolutely trust please don’t change that now. Good-bye.
With all my love your sister,
Skyler
Dearest Jasmine, October 21st
I don’t know how to say this. Oh God help me. My world has been thrust into the unknown. I...was….I can’t even admit it. How can I ask you for help? Jass I need your help no questions asked. I know the past few months we have not been close, but the bond we had is still there. I need my sister. I hope its not too late that you haven’t forgotten about me. You are the only person I can absolutely trust with any possible problem I have.
With all my love, Your sister,
Skyler
Dearest Skyler, October 23rd
Hun what is going on? I hope you know I am always here for you no matter what. I don’t care that we have not spoken for a few months, true friends don’t have to. Wait even sisters don’t have to be close to still care. I will help you, just tell me how. Forget you are you crazy? I could never forget you and our crazy all night sleepovers. I am here for YOU and do not ever forget it.
All my love,
Jass
Jass, October 25th
You have no idea how much this means to me. Honestly I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. I need to meet you and soon. We need to talk about this in person. I cannot write down the problem, its easier for me to say it. Is the 2nd of November a good day for you? If it is meet me at our secret place in the woods at noon.
All my love,
Skyler.
Skyler, October 27th
November 2nd works for me. I will be there around 12:30pm. I can’t wait to see you. I am here and I am not going anywhere soon. Never forget that you are special.
All my love,
Jass
Jass, October 31st
I hope you can forgive me. I just could not bring myself to tell you or anybody what happened to me. I just did not think I could bear the shame once people found out. I knew after getting your letter if I told you, I wouldn’t be able to handle it. To admit that something horrible had happened to me. I guess it doesn’t matter now if I tell you. I guess you should know why I did this. On October 13th I was taking a walk around my neighborhood when out of nowhere I was attacked. Not only was it a physical attack but also a sexual one. In other words I was raped. I am sorry, I tried to live with it and get over the rape but nothing helped. I thought talking to you would help that, but I was wrong. If I couldn’t even accept it myself how could you. Jass I want you to know that your letters the past few days have really helped me. I loved you. I hope you know I how much you meant to me. I just could not live knowing what he did to me. There are no words to describe it. Its too much for me to handle. This is my goodbye to you. After I’m gone I pray you keep my memory alive, the happy one. If you could please keep this letter to yourself I don’t want anyone else to know besides you. Like I said before you are the only one I absolutely trust please don’t change that now. Good-bye.
With all my love your sister,
Skyler
Two Friends Miles Away
Dearest Jamie,
Right now I am looking out at the radiant sunset of Antigua. The only thing missing is you. The colors of the sky are toying with my imagination, the clouds showing memories and faces of my previous life in Michigan. My heart almost broke when I found out I was moving. I am terribly sorry that I did not say good-bye. The thought in itself was painful enough. I cry every night, tears soaking my pillow. My emotions are the total opposite of my name. Bliss means happiness, but now I feel like a Mara. Mara means bitter.
This morning I went for a stroll and just sat and observed my surroundings. It seemed like every living thing had a companion to run around. Two Squirrels were chasing each other, a mother bird bustling about fixing her nest, an elderly couple on their usual morning stroll, and of course, two girls racing on the beach. I can still hear their laughter, reminding me of our many random outbursts.
After I finish high school, I’m moving back to Michigan, if my parents let me. I am deeply grateful that Dad has become president of Boats Inc. But unfortunately the main office lays here in the Caribbean Islands and not in my beloved home of Burr Oak, MI. I send all my love and my whole heart,
Your best friend,
Bliss
Bliss,
Oh my word. You are such a drama queen. Half the words in your latest letter I had to look up in the dictionary. I have to admit I was hoping I would hear from you again. I found it extremely insulting that I had to find out that my best friend has moved to the Caribbean Islands, through Charlie (you know Charlie, the greasy haired freak in 9th grade). Even he knew about it before me. Well, first, I went into shock. I mean literally I did not move for, like, 5 minutes. Then it turned into denial. I think I kind of scared poor Charlie. I was shouting at him, telling him that that was a mean joke to pull on some one. Then Mrs. Umbrage walked by and gave us both tallies and asked what the fuss was about. I explained to her that Charlie had just told me my best friend moved just to get a good laugh. She then let Charlie run to class and told me that you did move. I collapsed right there in the middle of the hall, sobbing uncontrollably. Then what-do-you-know, the bell rang and everyone in Burr Oak High School saw me as an utter mess. Mrs. Umbrage then helped me up and I faintly walked to her office. She called my mom and before I knew it I was at home, curled up in a ball still sobbing my heart out. After about a week, my sorrow melted into anger. I blamed you for everything. How could you leave me? Don’t all of our mall trips, movie all nighters, sleepovers, birthdays, mean anything to you? Whatever. Forget about me and have fun in Antigua!
Jamie
Dear Jamie,
Your words stung and still sting. They came flying at me as a swarm of ticked off wasps. How could I possibly forget you??? Burr Oak is all I remember. My life and heart is still there. I was forced to move. If I could change these unfortunate events and make them work to our advantage, I would. But what has been done, is done, and it is impossible to change this major mess.
I have met someone. She is a very nice girl. She is no Jamie though. Her name is Shannon. I am so skeptical to her. And I feel horrible about it. I compare her too much to you. I just can not get our amazing friendship out of my head. You are the best friend anyone could have. We matched perfectly. I hope you forgive me. I will always love you. Forever and Ever.
Bliss
Bliss,
Of course I forgive you. Even with you hundreds of miles away, I can not stay mad at you. I have good news. My parents have seen my pain and they bought me a ticket to Antigua. Everything is settled. I will be there in a week. Love you!
Jamie
Right now I am looking out at the radiant sunset of Antigua. The only thing missing is you. The colors of the sky are toying with my imagination, the clouds showing memories and faces of my previous life in Michigan. My heart almost broke when I found out I was moving. I am terribly sorry that I did not say good-bye. The thought in itself was painful enough. I cry every night, tears soaking my pillow. My emotions are the total opposite of my name. Bliss means happiness, but now I feel like a Mara. Mara means bitter.
This morning I went for a stroll and just sat and observed my surroundings. It seemed like every living thing had a companion to run around. Two Squirrels were chasing each other, a mother bird bustling about fixing her nest, an elderly couple on their usual morning stroll, and of course, two girls racing on the beach. I can still hear their laughter, reminding me of our many random outbursts.
After I finish high school, I’m moving back to Michigan, if my parents let me. I am deeply grateful that Dad has become president of Boats Inc. But unfortunately the main office lays here in the Caribbean Islands and not in my beloved home of Burr Oak, MI. I send all my love and my whole heart,
Your best friend,
Bliss
Bliss,
Oh my word. You are such a drama queen. Half the words in your latest letter I had to look up in the dictionary. I have to admit I was hoping I would hear from you again. I found it extremely insulting that I had to find out that my best friend has moved to the Caribbean Islands, through Charlie (you know Charlie, the greasy haired freak in 9th grade). Even he knew about it before me. Well, first, I went into shock. I mean literally I did not move for, like, 5 minutes. Then it turned into denial. I think I kind of scared poor Charlie. I was shouting at him, telling him that that was a mean joke to pull on some one. Then Mrs. Umbrage walked by and gave us both tallies and asked what the fuss was about. I explained to her that Charlie had just told me my best friend moved just to get a good laugh. She then let Charlie run to class and told me that you did move. I collapsed right there in the middle of the hall, sobbing uncontrollably. Then what-do-you-know, the bell rang and everyone in Burr Oak High School saw me as an utter mess. Mrs. Umbrage then helped me up and I faintly walked to her office. She called my mom and before I knew it I was at home, curled up in a ball still sobbing my heart out. After about a week, my sorrow melted into anger. I blamed you for everything. How could you leave me? Don’t all of our mall trips, movie all nighters, sleepovers, birthdays, mean anything to you? Whatever. Forget about me and have fun in Antigua!
Jamie
Dear Jamie,
Your words stung and still sting. They came flying at me as a swarm of ticked off wasps. How could I possibly forget you??? Burr Oak is all I remember. My life and heart is still there. I was forced to move. If I could change these unfortunate events and make them work to our advantage, I would. But what has been done, is done, and it is impossible to change this major mess.
I have met someone. She is a very nice girl. She is no Jamie though. Her name is Shannon. I am so skeptical to her. And I feel horrible about it. I compare her too much to you. I just can not get our amazing friendship out of my head. You are the best friend anyone could have. We matched perfectly. I hope you forgive me. I will always love you. Forever and Ever.
Bliss
Bliss,
Of course I forgive you. Even with you hundreds of miles away, I can not stay mad at you. I have good news. My parents have seen my pain and they bought me a ticket to Antigua. Everything is settled. I will be there in a week. Love you!
Jamie
My Outbox.
These letters are based on things I said/wrote in 7th and 8th grade. The letters are written to my best friend, (although some details about her are not exactly accurate) from me. Some of the things may not sound like they were written by me, but that's who I was back then. I'm happy to say that I am a completely different person now, and I am stronger because of what I went through.
Most dearest D,
January 13th
We haven’t written in forever. How’s school going? I’m doing alright. I really want S, I really do. His mom just came to pick him up while I was writing this and he made sure to come up and say bye to me. AHH :)
Everyone at school is saying I have no chance with him cause he’s a junior. Like I care what they think. X and I are talking again – which makes me super happy. I love him so much, not as a boyfriend or anything, just as a best friend. He means more to me than anything. BTW, I got this super cute new blue+white striped shirt that you would love. It actually makes me look semi-attractive. And the scars from last time are fading, which is definitely good cause they were pretty bad.
Much Love.
-S
D,
January 18th
I’m glad to hear that your grades are so good, you are so smart, LOL. And yes, I’m trying to stop with the cutting, you know I wish I could, but I don't really feel like I deserve anything better. I haven’t for at least a couple of weeks. Anyways, we won our basketball game today, I even got to start! Are you coming to our game next week? Heehee, S commented on my myspace yesterday! But X is drifting away, he hasn’t been talking to me. He’s only been talking to A and B. It’s totally depressing. Everyone hates me. Also we can’t chill next weekend cause I’m grounded again. UGH.
-S
P.S- Life Sucks.
P.P.S. I’m sending you a bunch of yellow skittles :)
D,
January 24th
I did it again. You’re gonna be so mad at me. I know I told you I was trying to stop but I couldn’t help it! I’ve had the worst week ever. S has a girlfriend. What a surprise. I don’t even know why I thought he’d ever like me. I’m so ugly. I’m worthless. I’m losing all my friends too. X and B didn’t say one word to me at school today. Oh, and your boyfriend hates me. UGH. Well at least I’m ungrounded now, wanna hang out soon?
-S
D,
January 30th
I’m grounded AGAIN. I hate my life. Nobody cares. Not even you. I spend all my time crying, and bleeding. There’s no reason to live. Tell X I always loved him. Bye.
-S
P.S. don’t try to stop me.
Dear Stranger
Dear Stranger,
It has been so long, since we first met
Though long ago, you caught my heart in your net
You twisted yourself into my mind like a spell
From one glance you made these feelings I cannot expel
I recollect your hair and light blue eyes
Your beauty is my curse, my sin, my demise
I fall at your feet, though you know it not
Now the memory of you is all that I've got
Dear Stranger do you remember me too?
Am I the girl in your heart that you wish to pursue?
Am I the memory your mind always drifts back to?
Or am I nothing, just an aquantince to you?
Dear Stranger,
I write to you yet again
You were once the highest, the greatest of men
You were my one and only hope, a beautiful dream
But then you tore apart my heart from seam to seam
You rejected my love, my life, and my soul
From the ashes of words you turned my heart into coal
I do not think I will love another man again
Because on this page that you tore, I wrote with love from my pen
Dear Stranger, will you never think of me anymore?
Is your rejection because of a different girl you adore?
Am I the thing that you hate, the one that you fear?
Or am I your coffin, your death, your sin, your tear?
Dear Stranger,
This is my last note of love to you
After this I forever bid you a grim adieu
Because you were too scared to take the fatal chance
Of telling me that you were caught within my romance
I know now that your heart belonged to me all along
But you thought your courting me would be wrong
You thought I was in love with another man
And that is why, from my heart you ran
Dear Stranger, are you now able to see?
That the man you thought I loved was nothing to me?
But now that you know, my dear, I must now depart
Because fate shall always keep us apart
It has been so long, since we first met
Though long ago, you caught my heart in your net
You twisted yourself into my mind like a spell
From one glance you made these feelings I cannot expel
I recollect your hair and light blue eyes
Your beauty is my curse, my sin, my demise
I fall at your feet, though you know it not
Now the memory of you is all that I've got
Dear Stranger do you remember me too?
Am I the girl in your heart that you wish to pursue?
Am I the memory your mind always drifts back to?
Or am I nothing, just an aquantince to you?
Dear Stranger,
I write to you yet again
You were once the highest, the greatest of men
You were my one and only hope, a beautiful dream
But then you tore apart my heart from seam to seam
You rejected my love, my life, and my soul
From the ashes of words you turned my heart into coal
I do not think I will love another man again
Because on this page that you tore, I wrote with love from my pen
Dear Stranger, will you never think of me anymore?
Is your rejection because of a different girl you adore?
Am I the thing that you hate, the one that you fear?
Or am I your coffin, your death, your sin, your tear?
Dear Stranger,
This is my last note of love to you
After this I forever bid you a grim adieu
Because you were too scared to take the fatal chance
Of telling me that you were caught within my romance
I know now that your heart belonged to me all along
But you thought your courting me would be wrong
You thought I was in love with another man
And that is why, from my heart you ran
Dear Stranger, are you now able to see?
That the man you thought I loved was nothing to me?
But now that you know, my dear, I must now depart
Because fate shall always keep us apart
15 February 2009
Letters
Dad,
Would you please just lay off! I know you’re trying to protect me and all, but I don’t need it. I just wanna live my own life.
You’re wrong, you know. This guy, he’s perfect. We really love each other. This is gonna last. I wish you could see that. But you’re blinded by your own opinion. You are so condescending! I’m not a little girl anymore. This is my life, and I’m gonna do what I want, like it or not. So please just back off.
Sincerely,
Your daughter
Dearest Nancy,
I wish you would reconsider your last letter to me. I know you’re not a little girl anymore, but you are still young. You cannot place all your trust in this boy.
I love you dearly and I want to spare you from the heartache and pain you are currently walking into. I wish you could see this from my perspective. Please listen to the wisdom of those who have come before you. Learn from others’ mistakes, rather than making your own.
Love,
Dad
Father,
Would you please cease your attempts to control my life? All these years, you’ve piled your so-called wisdom upon me, but I’m done listening. I’m old enough to know right from wrong.
I’m tired of listening to your criticism. Everything in my life disappoints you. I’m done trying to follow your prudish standards.
I don’t need you. I have a new man in my life. He’s all I need. So please stop trying to persuade me to follow your ludicrous ideas. I’m done with you.
-
Daddy,
I’ve really messed up! Nothing turned out the way I planned it. I thought he really loved me, but when things got bad, he left me to survive on my own. But I couldn’t! I don’t know what to do.
I know I told you that I didn’t need you, that I didn’t want your help, but I was wrong. I need you in my life. I am young and foolish. I ignored your wisdom. I practically spat in your face. You have every right to be angry with me, to make me find my own way out of this mess. But I’m asking you, I’m begging you, will you please help me? Daddy I need your help, I need you in my life.
Love,
Your little girl
My precious daughter,
My heart breaks for the pain you’ve gone through. I was trying to shield you, to protect you, but sometimes you just have to learn from your own mistakes.
I truly am sorry that your plan didn’t work the way you wanted. I wish I had been wrong. But I am happy that you came to me for help. Please know that I will always be here for you. This is unquestionably not the last time you will make the wrong choice. There will be more times in your life when you fall. I want to always be there to catch you when you fall, but I know there will be times that you push me away. I will step aside if you ask me to, but please know this: regardless of how hard or how far away you push me, I will be there for you the second you ask for help. I will never abandon you.
Love always,
Daddy
Letters to Johnny
Dear John,
Nov 7
I would like to start by saying that when I wear that button saying My Hero is a U.S. Marine I mean it with all my heart. I am always proud of you and the person you are, but when I saw you accomplish your goal of becoming a Marine I was so impressed with you and how far you have come. I know that you are the toughest and strongest guy around but I doubt that accomplishment was anything but simple. I can’t even imagine what you must have felt, no wonder you clutched onto God and His Word. But you powered through and became the person I look up to every day. Even though you are so far away, you are the closest person in my life.
Nov 8
I think the worst part is that people don’t understand how much you mean to me. When I would try and talk to a friend about it or even family they would give me comforting words and try to understand but they could not. I think it was because the only person I could truly be comforted by was you. During that time you were away, I can’t tell you how alone I felt sometimes. I realized how much of my life was simply you and I. You have always been the one that I could say anything to or talk to about anything. I would be in the situations when you and I would have the best conversation or the best memories, but you weren’t there. The best part was that God was there, to keep my eyes on the future or to remind me of how many laughs we had or to just simply remind me that someday you would be home. I guess my hope for that time you were away was that within our letters we could almost become closer. I remember that right before I would go to bed every night I would just try to think of what your day must have been like or I would think of you being fast asleep and I would just pray for you and your knee and your success in everything, but most of all that God would be keeping a special eye on you. I almost sound like a mom there, but I just know that even when I was so mad at you for not writing or so sad that on those hard nights you weren’t on the other end of my phone telling me that it would all work out, that I still loved you like crazy for some reason : )
Nov 9
Now that you’re leaving again for I don’t even know how long, is it 52 Days or 52 and another camp or something whatever I don’t pretend to know the wonders of the world, I want you to know that even though I’ll have bad days or be seeing the new movies or be graduating or be dating or driving late at night with all the windows down, you’ll always be the one next to me that I am sharing it with and I will make it through without you. That seat will be ready for you when you come home, and we’ll have just as many laughs and adventures as before. You know that I am known for being able to handle whatever life throws at me, and if you being gone is what I have to handle then I’ll do it. You’ll always be my number one, I know that now you have two families to be faithful to, and I understand. What I need from you are 3 things: to write to me and let me know how you are doing, keep God close to you, and come home safe and sound. John, I also want you to know that when you write, I want you to tell me about your good days and bad days. You know I have no problem writing sad letters or angry letters to you, I need to know how you’re doing because it will drive me crazy not to know. If privacy is the issue then I will keep my mouth shut, this is not my way of yelling at you for not writing me before. It’s my way of letting you know that I don’t care how many miles are between us, you’re still my best friend and my cousin, and when you’re gone I hang on your every word.
Love with all my Heart,
Hannah
Letters to Self
I wrote these letters to myself, using my nicknames at the time they were given to me, as things I would have wanted to be told at that age in my life.
Dear Meme (age: 7),
Over the years to come I will be writing you letters to help you in your struggles with life. These letters are many bible verses combined to inspire you when you need it most. Today’s verses will help you through your first day of second grade in Pennsylvania.
Do not fear; for I am with you: be not dismayed; for I am your God: I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
Love Always,
Your self
Dear Elizabeth (age: 10),
I remember fifth grade and I know what we did yesterday. I handled it the wrong way but you have the choice to make things right. The last verse you will find was said by king David, I would advise you to consider doing the same.
If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight. David was conscience-stricken after he had counted the fighting men, and he said to the LORD, "I have sinned greatly in what I have done. Now, O LORD, I beg you, take away the guilt of your servant. I have done a very foolish thing."
Love Always,
Yourself
Dear FedEx (age: 12),
Do not be tempted to walk in the ways of sinners, and do not give in to peer pressure.
Trust in the lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understandings. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and he shall make your paths straight. Remember bad company corrupts good character.
Love Always,
Yourself
Dear Amanda (age: 13),
Your behavior is out of control, you need to take immediate action before you completely succumb to Lucifer. May the Lord bless you and give you peace.
Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD. “Do not plot evil against your neighbor, and do not love to swear falsely. I hate all this," declares the LORD.
Love Always,
Yourself
Dear Amanda (age: 14),
You need to stop this immediately.
Don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. For we are not our own masters when we live or when we die. While we live, we live to please the Lord. And when we die, we go to be with the Lord. So in life and in death, we belong to the Lord.
Love Always,
Yourself
Dear Amanda (age: almost 15),
I am so proud of your progress, congratulations on making it through the year. You are not out of the woods yet but you are getting there. I have just one more word of advice…
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Love Always,
Yourself
Dear Meme (age: 7),
Over the years to come I will be writing you letters to help you in your struggles with life. These letters are many bible verses combined to inspire you when you need it most. Today’s verses will help you through your first day of second grade in Pennsylvania.
Do not fear; for I am with you: be not dismayed; for I am your God: I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
Love Always,
Your self
Dear Elizabeth (age: 10),
I remember fifth grade and I know what we did yesterday. I handled it the wrong way but you have the choice to make things right. The last verse you will find was said by king David, I would advise you to consider doing the same.
If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight. David was conscience-stricken after he had counted the fighting men, and he said to the LORD, "I have sinned greatly in what I have done. Now, O LORD, I beg you, take away the guilt of your servant. I have done a very foolish thing."
Love Always,
Yourself
Dear FedEx (age: 12),
Do not be tempted to walk in the ways of sinners, and do not give in to peer pressure.
Trust in the lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understandings. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and he shall make your paths straight. Remember bad company corrupts good character.
Love Always,
Yourself
Dear Amanda (age: 13),
Your behavior is out of control, you need to take immediate action before you completely succumb to Lucifer. May the Lord bless you and give you peace.
Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD. “Do not plot evil against your neighbor, and do not love to swear falsely. I hate all this," declares the LORD.
Love Always,
Yourself
Dear Amanda (age: 14),
You need to stop this immediately.
Don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. For we are not our own masters when we live or when we die. While we live, we live to please the Lord. And when we die, we go to be with the Lord. So in life and in death, we belong to the Lord.
Love Always,
Yourself
Dear Amanda (age: almost 15),
I am so proud of your progress, congratulations on making it through the year. You are not out of the woods yet but you are getting there. I have just one more word of advice…
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Love Always,
Yourself
Letters
Dear Queen Ariel,
I have always wondered what made you desire to be a human. You had everything, a life under the sea and you as a princess yet you chose to leave it all. Was it a hard decision for you? Do you feel like you still made the right choice? It is hard for me to fathom your motives for doing so.
I cannot wait to hear your reply!
Jennie Carmona
Dear Queen Ariel,
Thank you so much for getting back to me so quickly! Your honest answers have made me understand you a lot more.
I did not realize that your mother died and her memory was what drove you from the sea. That makes so much sense now. I cannot imagine swimming in the same areas that were once filled with memories of your mother. But you still had a family that you had to leave behind? What about your sisters and your father? Do you miss them terribly? Do you ever regret that life changing decision?
I understand if some of my questions are too personal, but you are my favorite Disney princess and I want to understand you more fully.
Sincerely,
Jennie Carmona
Dear Queen Ariel,
Congratulations! I heard about your new baby boy, Prince Eric Jr.! You must be so excited. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to answer me again!
I bet that especially in this time of joy with your new baby it makes you miss you parents more then ever, I understand how you said that this especially makes you long for your mother.
I respect you so much for being a strong enough person to totally change the course of your life and take the road less traveled to be with your true love. I am glad to hear that you do not regret your choice!
Thank you for answering my questions, you have made my look up to you so much more. Congratulations once again on your new son!
Love,
Jennie Carmona
I have always wondered what made you desire to be a human. You had everything, a life under the sea and you as a princess yet you chose to leave it all. Was it a hard decision for you? Do you feel like you still made the right choice? It is hard for me to fathom your motives for doing so.
I cannot wait to hear your reply!
Jennie Carmona
Dear Queen Ariel,
Thank you so much for getting back to me so quickly! Your honest answers have made me understand you a lot more.
I did not realize that your mother died and her memory was what drove you from the sea. That makes so much sense now. I cannot imagine swimming in the same areas that were once filled with memories of your mother. But you still had a family that you had to leave behind? What about your sisters and your father? Do you miss them terribly? Do you ever regret that life changing decision?
I understand if some of my questions are too personal, but you are my favorite Disney princess and I want to understand you more fully.
Sincerely,
Jennie Carmona
Dear Queen Ariel,
Congratulations! I heard about your new baby boy, Prince Eric Jr.! You must be so excited. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to answer me again!
I bet that especially in this time of joy with your new baby it makes you miss you parents more then ever, I understand how you said that this especially makes you long for your mother.
I respect you so much for being a strong enough person to totally change the course of your life and take the road less traveled to be with your true love. I am glad to hear that you do not regret your choice!
Thank you for answering my questions, you have made my look up to you so much more. Congratulations once again on your new son!
Love,
Jennie Carmona
11 February 2009
Loss for Words?
I may have trouble expressing myself in words but that doesn’t mean the feelings aren’t there. My words may not flow onto the page but underneath my skin they burn. Every time I write, I’m afraid it may expose all the ugly parts of me that I try so hard to hide. The words that have been branded into my flesh over the years evaporate. I love to write but my insecurities and distortions make finishing a peice nearly impossible. My laptop is stuffed full of Word Documents rich in memories or half finished stories. Writing is my catharsis but I’m terrified of rejection so all my random stories stay locked under secret passwords. I like to write essays because I feel I’m well hidden beneath tons of researched facts, but I truly love to free write secretly in the safety of my room.
True writer
When I sit back and site,
If ya don't understand I will fight,
If I die you will have this to reply.
Writing is not my thing,
If you want to no i can't sing,
my strongest way in writing...
oh my word i dont even know.
but if you must know ill write et out,
but i wont show.
I express my feelings to myself,
Not for others to see
the true me.
I write to think bout myself.
So now you no what i do.
If you tell i will certainly spell... K.I.L.L!
If ya don't understand I will fight,
If I die you will have this to reply.
Writing is not my thing,
If you want to no i can't sing,
my strongest way in writing...
oh my word i dont even know.
but if you must know ill write et out,
but i wont show.
I express my feelings to myself,
Not for others to see
the true me.
I write to think bout myself.
So now you no what i do.
If you tell i will certainly spell... K.I.L.L!
10 February 2009
My Escape
For me writing is a source of escape.
I can pound on my guitar strings to relieve stress but writing a poem or song releases not only stress but bottled up thoughts and emotions.
Writing helps define me. Through writing you see the interior, heart and soul, in which lyes a persons deepest troubles, regrets, sorrows, failures, accomplishments.... truly anything.
For myself as a writer, I hope that my works are published in the near future. I want others to be able to read my work and be able to relate to what I have written about and to see the unique beauty of words.
I can pound on my guitar strings to relieve stress but writing a poem or song releases not only stress but bottled up thoughts and emotions.
Writing helps define me. Through writing you see the interior, heart and soul, in which lyes a persons deepest troubles, regrets, sorrows, failures, accomplishments.... truly anything.
For myself as a writer, I hope that my works are published in the near future. I want others to be able to read my work and be able to relate to what I have written about and to see the unique beauty of words.
Self as writer
I am new to writing for fun, not because I am obligated to. Actually, I am also new to enjoying things like poetry; this year has really opened my eyes to how literature and writing can benefit me, and how I can enjoy them. I am a very creative person which is helpful in my writing. I believe, that one problem I have when writing is that I have good ideas and a good imagination, but I cannot always express them into words and put them onto the paper. I would also really like to get better at making my writing have a deeper underlying meaning, with the use of similes, metaphors, and just really creative ideas. I also think it would be really cool if I could learn to write creative, meaningful song lyrics and poems. I really think that if I improved these factors, and learned to utilize my talents in the right form, that my writing would be a lot better.
My Strengths and Weaknesses
My strengths as a writer are quite common among scribes. I ex cell when writing about something that has happened to me or relates to me. When writing I can just continue to write, no standstill moments. Another creative tool I have is to start with something in a simple reality and slide into a crazy and humorous, tall tale.
Some of my weaknesses as a writer are the fact that I am not strong in my vocabulary and I can't spell. I seems to make simple mistakes in grammar and punctuation. I tend to trial off of the subject, and never make my way back. My biggest weakness is not being able to think up a great plot to start writing with, it sometimes takes longer to think it up then to write it.
Some of my weaknesses as a writer are the fact that I am not strong in my vocabulary and I can't spell. I seems to make simple mistakes in grammar and punctuation. I tend to trial off of the subject, and never make my way back. My biggest weakness is not being able to think up a great plot to start writing with, it sometimes takes longer to think it up then to write it.
09 February 2009
Self as Writer
Ever since I was hospitalized three years ago for various reasons writing has become my release. It’s the one thing I can always count on being there. Writting is my safe place where nothing can touch me. I love to just write down any random thought or idea that crosses my mind. I am very pretective of my work and I lack self confidence which makes me not want to share any of my works. I write poems that don’t rhyme short stories and journal entries. I despise writing essays. I have strengths and weaknesses in my writing. Some of my weaknesses are that I can’t spell. Also I never erase my work I scribble/blackout my mistakes. A major weakness of my writing is that I never seem to finish any story that I start. I have three different, unfinished stories going at the moment. One of my strengths is that I pick topics that I know and for the most part experienced myself. Strength is I try to find better and “unused” words and use them in my works. I don’t think I am a good writer but more of an average writer. I have a few hopes and dreams about my future in writing. One of them is that some of my poems and my stories get published. I hope that my writing could help and inspire the readers. As a writer I hope I can grow, become better as time chugs along and change into a great writer.
Roller Coaster Ride
Myself as a writer is a roller coaster.
A major Thrill ride of my life.
I have my Ups.
I’m creative.
I think of new ideas.
I twist pieces till they’re right.
I have my Downs.
I’m stuck without guidelines.
If I’m not in the mood I can’t write.
My mind and Hand will not work.
I think hard, but nothing comes.
Then it will hit me.
An explosion of ideas in my head.
I change as a writer.
I change rides.
I can be myself.
I can be a student.
I write assignments.
I follow all of the teacher’s instructions.
On my own I cut lose.
Two totally different rides.
One person as a writer.
A Thrill of life.
By: Jamie Bauer
A major Thrill ride of my life.
I have my Ups.
I’m creative.
I think of new ideas.
I twist pieces till they’re right.
I have my Downs.
I’m stuck without guidelines.
If I’m not in the mood I can’t write.
My mind and Hand will not work.
I think hard, but nothing comes.
Then it will hit me.
An explosion of ideas in my head.
I change as a writer.
I change rides.
I can be myself.
I can be a student.
I write assignments.
I follow all of the teacher’s instructions.
On my own I cut lose.
Two totally different rides.
One person as a writer.
A Thrill of life.
By: Jamie Bauer
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