Letters to Johnny

Dear John,

Nov 7

I would like to start by saying that when I wear that button saying My Hero is a U.S. Marine I mean it with all my heart. I am always proud of you and the person you are, but when I saw you accomplish your goal of becoming a Marine I was so impressed with you and how far you have come. I know that you are the toughest and strongest guy around but I doubt that accomplishment was anything but simple. I can’t even imagine what you must have felt, no wonder you clutched onto God and His Word. But you powered through and became the person I look up to every day. Even though you are so far away, you are the closest person in my life.

Nov 8

I think the worst part is that people don’t understand how much you mean to me. When I would try and talk to a friend about it or even family they would give me comforting words and try to understand but they could not. I think it was because the only person I could truly be comforted by was you. During that time you were away, I can’t tell you how alone I felt sometimes. I realized how much of my life was simply you and I. You have always been the one that I could say anything to or talk to about anything. I would be in the situations when you and I would have the best conversation or the best memories, but you weren’t there. The best part was that God was there, to keep my eyes on the future or to remind me of how many laughs we had or to just simply remind me that someday you would be home. I guess my hope for that time you were away was that within our letters we could almost become closer. I remember that right before I would go to bed every night I would just try to think of what your day must have been like or I would think of you being fast asleep and I would just pray for you and your knee and your success in everything, but most of all that God would be keeping a special eye on you. I almost sound like a mom there, but I just know that even when I was so mad at you for not writing or so sad that on those hard nights you weren’t on the other end of my phone telling me that it would all work out, that I still loved you like crazy for some reason : )

Nov 9

Now that you’re leaving again for I don’t even know how long, is it 52 Days or 52 and another camp or something whatever I don’t pretend to know the wonders of the world, I want you to know that even though I’ll have bad days or be seeing the new movies or be graduating or be dating or driving late at night with all the windows down, you’ll always be the one next to me that I am sharing it with and I will make it through without you. That seat will be ready for you when you come home, and we’ll have just as many laughs and adventures as before. You know that I am known for being able to handle whatever life throws at me, and if you being gone is what I have to handle then I’ll do it. You’ll always be my number one, I know that now you have two families to be faithful to, and I understand. What I need from you are 3 things: to write to me and let me know how you are doing, keep God close to you, and come home safe and sound. John, I also want you to know that when you write, I want you to tell me about your good days and bad days. You know I have no problem writing sad letters or angry letters to you, I need to know how you’re doing because it will drive me crazy not to know. If privacy is the issue then I will keep my mouth shut, this is not my way of yelling at you for not writing me before. It’s my way of letting you know that I don’t care how many miles are between us, you’re still my best friend and my cousin, and when you’re gone I hang on your every word.

Love with all my Heart,

Hannah