Who are you?

The following is a prayer or at least what I consider a prayer at the moment. I hope I do not offend anyone with anything that is said. I am in a state of doubt. At this time I'm not sure if God exists. Some of the things mentioned in this prayer are true but happened a long time ago.

Dear God?
Father?
Savior?
Comforter?
Protector?

Which one are you? Who are you? Are you my father? I think not. I had a loving father and YOU took him from me. I was barely five years old. How could you? My Savior? Yeah right. My comforter? Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I was in a puddle of my own blood? When I was contemplating staying underwater and never comming up again. When I tied that noose around my neck. My Protector? If anything, I need to be protected from you. You were supposed to protect me from evil and hurtful things. Instead of doing that you hurt me the most.You thrust me into a whole new world of confusion, pain and evil at an early age. When is it going to stop? Where were you that September Day? How did that help anyone? Everyone around me says that I should love and trust you. Seeing is believing and all I've seen is you hurt the ones I love and me. How can I possibly trust you? That your ways are not my ways and I am too inadequate to understand. Explain it to me. That you have a plan and a reason for doing what you've done, or let happen. I have a hard time believing that. If you love me as much as you say you do then why do you torment me so?

~Jess~